These first questions may be the most important. If you don't know why you're getting married or have different views of where you'll be in a few decades, it could cause problems down the road.
Name two characteristics which you admire in your mate. * Name two characteristics or weaknesses which you least appreciate in your mate. * Give four reasons for wanting to marry your mate. * What are two activities (recreation, social, etc.) which you have in common? * Manage Your Expectations
Everyone has expectations about their lives. Therefore, everyone has expectations about what they think they should contribute to a marriage and what their spouses should contribute. It is vitally important to talk about what is expected in your marriage. Here are some expectation questions:
In what areas do I have trouble trusting others or feel insecure? * What would you consider grounds for divorce? * What do consider infidelity to be? * For what reasons do you think the divorce rate continues to increase? * What is your opinion of household duties? * Who is to be the head of your home? * Do you think that certain dates (anniversary, birthdays, etc.) should be remembered by your mate? * Conflict and Communication
You've probably heard that communication is key to a good marriage, and it's true. Your life together will be filled with important decisions, trying times, and some conflict. It's a natural part of spending your life with another person. You can start it off right by talking about how you'll handle these situations when they come up:
What things would I like my spouse to do differently for us to handle conflict better? * What things should I do differently for us to handle conflict better? * How are we different? Do you think our differences will create problems in our marriage? * What is your plan for settling family problems? * Should your mate ever keep anything a secret from you? If so, what? * Do you think we have problems in our relationship that we need to deal with before the wedding? * Do you expect or want your partner to change? * How quickly do I believe we should forgive each other? * Be On the Same Page About Housing
It may seem like knowing where to live is a “no-brainer” but it is still worth going over. Sometimes couples think they are on the same page about things then realize there may be some differences.
If you both have your own place, which one will you move to? * If you do not have your own place yet, are you wanting to rent or buy a house? * If one of you were offered a job in another state – how would that work? * Family
Every family is different, so understanding how your future spouse grew up and their relationship with parents and siblings today will be very helpful. After all, you're each marrying into a new family.
What was your your childhood like? Was your family affectionate? * What family values and traditions do you want to bring into our marriage? * What do you like and dislike about your family? * What do you like and dislike about your parents' marriage? * Are you well acquainted with your mate’s immediate family? Describe your relationship to them. * Does your family approve completely of your choice of a mate? * Do you dislike any of your mate’s family or friends? * Has divorce occurred in your family? * Which of our families have the most potential to cause problems in our marriage? Why? *